Keep Your Cool When Emotions Run Out

When tensions run high, we can sometimes get hot under the collar. But the best way to stay calm in heated situations is to keep your cool when emotions run out.


When you are feeling stressed out or angry, do you have trouble managing your emotions? Do you wish you could learn how to stay calm when someone hurts you?


You can learn how to keep your cool during a hot, emotional time if you can respond from a place of rational calm. And once you learn how to manage emotional reactions, you will find greater clarity, control, and a profound sense of inner peace.


1. What Is A Hot Emotion?


Hot emotions are feelings that are experienced through a high level of engagement and energy. “One reason that emotions are called hot is that we actually feel hotter as adrenaline is released and blood flows to muscles making us feel more energetic. “


Not all ‘hot emotions’ come from a negative place. For example, sexual arousal is considered as a feeling that energizes and excites through the anticipation of touch.


Also, as individuals, the intensity of a particular emotion may be felt differently. Where one person could feel only slight irritation when becoming provoked, another person may feel extreme indignation.


Where you fall on the scale of emotional intensity can depend on a number of factors; your upbringing, past experiences that have led to a feeling of distrust, and even physical aspects such as hormonal imbalances or chronic illnesses.


In learning how to calm down anger and stress, it’s essential to consider that an unfortunate situation does not always warrant a hot emotional response. It is possible to temper your reaction so that you can express it with less intensity.


2. How To Control Your Emotions


Have you ever been accused of overreacting when you are upset? More so, do you find yourself becoming defensive because you feel justified in your emotional responses?


You may feel that you have the right to assert yourself if you have been hurt or disrespected or if something tragic has occurred, and you are right. It is only human to feel anger or sadness when something terrible has happened.


However, it is possible to air your grievances while maintaining an appropriate response. Controlling your feelings doesn’t mean that you can’t express yourself; it means filtering out your emotions to acknowledge the situation without defaulting to an extreme reaction.

What does it mean to keep your emotions in check? Below are examples of how to control your emotions in the moment.


  • Ask yourself; is the emotion you are experiencing positively serving you? Is there anything for you to gain by feeling upset or angry?

  • Try to come from a place of non-judgment. Your emotional reaction may be the result of critical judgment on your part.

  • Instead of reaction, respond from a place of neutrality. You can address a negative situation without involving personal feelings. Try shifting the tone of your voice and your body language.

  • Learn to let things go. You do not need to carry the weight of all your heavy emotions. Pick and choose which issues carry the most importance and release the rest. You will feel lighter in the long run.

  • Come from a place of gratitude. Exercising gratitude, especially in trying times, will help to keep you in a positive and peaceful frame of mind.

  • Write it out. Journaling your feelings or writing a letter to the offending party can help dissipate your emotions. As you write out your feelings, you may begin to feel a calming sense of relief and clarity.


Controlling your emotions is not an easy task, especially when the intensity of the particular feeling takes hold of our being. But governing hot emotions like anger will ultimately provide you with more control over a situation.


Remember, you are entitled to express yourself, particularly when faced with injustice. However, expressing yourself can take other forms aside from unleashing intense, emotional reactions.

3. Move With Strategy and Not Emotion


Our emotions carry enough power to influence our decision-making. While this can sometimes come in handy, it is essential to stay grounded in cases where such influences could be harmful.


For example, professional work relationships and business-related matters may not fare as well with decisions based solely on emotions. In this case, it is essential to come from a grounded and rational perspective.


One useful technique in learning how to control emotions and feelings is to implement a series of strategies. These are points that you can refer to when you need to carefully navigate a particularly sensitive situation.


  • Take a break to collect your thoughts

  • Mind the volume and tone of your voice

  • Practice active listening; try to hear another person’s point of view from a place of non judgment.

  • Stop speaking while the other person is talking.

  • Consider the consequences of an emotional outburst.


Moving with strategy instead of with emotions can help you to slow down, in order to assess a situation rationally. These strategies also help you to gain control when emotions are running high.


It may also help to remind yourself that every situation and reaction is temporary; even the most heated arguments will eventually dissipate. However, how you choose to respond will determine the course of your relationship, take a breath, and use strategy to guide you through intense terrain.


We all want to have our voices and opinions heard, especially when we are upset. The desire to feel validated is healthy, human need. However, the way in which you choose to express yourself will determine how other people will respond to you.


We could all use helpful tips on how to manage strong feelings and impulses. One tool is to learn how to utilize strategy in helping you maintain control over an unfortunate situation.

Consider the alternatives that will best serve you by learning to keep your cool when emotion runs out.


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